Sweet Pain

KER-PLUNK the noise a huge rock makes dropping into a deep pool of water.

YOU can almost feel the sound in your stomach.

KA-BOOM the thunder and lightning that rips into the air.

YOU can feel it in your chest when you are in a dead sleep.

A PICTURE is all i have to remind my senses of you.
My memory is faulty and hurts me.

I want to experience you, your smell first. I want to inhale your essence like a warm summer night that has fresh cut hay sweetly wafting through the air.

I want to taste you next. Ooh the sweetness and the saltiness of your hand as i kiss it. The smell of your hair will draw me to your cheek. I will give you a wet kiss so I can lick my lips after. A barely there taste of foundation with a hint of perfume.

Finally your lips! Ooh those tempting lips. I see your tongue dart out to give them the right amount of moisture. i move in, you move in, my hands on your face for the first kiss your hands around me pulling me closer. i want you to pull me down on to you.

I feel so happy you look so happy, we don't stop kissing. it was like i was a hostage and u were waiting for my release, and our love was unable to do anything but pull our souls together.

"IT"

A peek inside my mind. Look at your own risk!

What is it about? LIFE LOVE HAPPINESS!?! Thoughts that I have, get tied up into other thoughts. I will be contemplating the unnecessary need for traffic lights and the stupidity of urban sprawl then…BAM electricity and solar traffic lights with solar street lamps and people mover sidewalks (like airports) that might help with congestion in crowded areas of the city. There are a million thoughts in my head. Airports! Flying, Air force, unmanned flights, Telecommuting, Internet video chats, Internet dating, Internet sex, porn sites…pause for a moment… How long do we have on this Earth? I think about how to make $$$ and spend my time. All of us or many of us would want to be engaged in fulfilling activities that truly enrich our lives. Motivation to do that for some is questionable at best. (i.e. Internet porn) I spend my time (almost all of it!) trying to make $$$. Which leaves me minimally fulfilled in the fiduciary and emotional departments. Yet, I do it day in and day out.

I hope for change and I know some people that voted for it. But like Billy Bob Thorton’s character said in BAD SANTA…” Hey kid shit in one hand and wish in the other. See which one fills up first.” Neither Hope nor legislators can effect change. Doing, is what, has an impact! Yet when I “do” my impact feels like the shit/hope smacking the sidewalk. How then, do I make effective impact? (Screech needle of record player slamming across record!) I spelled fiduciary without frickin’ spell-check! Now, I have lost it. Spellcheck is not a compound word. It is hyphenated or 2 words. Spellchecker is a word. What the hell?! Now I am shaking my head looking at some laminate flooring, thinking about pee stains that I have to cover. (from a dog that lived in my home before and a dog that lived in my home with me.) I have to buy more flooring, $$$ and fiduciary pop together with dog (in my head)…Bam! FIDO where does fido come from? Is it Latin? Does it relate to phylum, genus, species, crap? Oh Internet is down! I may never know! Ah, time to go to work and see where my crazy takes me. Sad thing is I still don't know what "it" is all about and got no further asking about it! That's what I get for talking to myself.